Monday, March 29, 2010

What I Learned in Preschool Today...

Little Nugget is not ready to dislodge herself from my butt just yet.

For the last month or so, I have been eagerly awaiting the coveted yet elusive "Mommy Alone Time." I've heard about, read stories, but thought it was just a fairytale. Until last week, when we had a meeting with Monkey's preschool and they said she could start. Today. What? Seriously? OMG! Since that moment, although struck with guilt over the degree of excitement brought about by said news, my mind has been all a-whirl with what to do with my new found freedom, known as the Morning Session.

I have long sought to return to jewelry making and my dream of building a crafts empire, you know, just in case my evaluation doesn't go so well at work this week. I dropped her off, holding back the tears until I got back out to the parking lot, then timidly went about the business of "Mommy Time." An hour later, I got a phone call. From the school. OH. NO. My empire, dangerously behind schedule, will have to wait. Little Nugget had been crying for an hour!!!


Apparently I am the human equivalent of a giant squishy pacifier of comforty-goodness for my Sweet Babygirl. Sigh. I got her calmed down (don't know how, but we'll take it) and decided to stick around. Because there would be no staying for the Little Nugget if Mommy wasn't staying too. So we went outside and hung out on the playground for awhile, and she dug it. And the boys dug it too. Sheesh. She's 3, and already the boys notice her. One little boy even stuck his tongue out at her, giving Mommy the perfect opportunity to explain that really that's all she needs to know about boys, they're silly, have cooties (except her Daddy and Grandpas), and should be regarded with skepticism or avoided altogether. Her response to this was to get up and go play "kick the ball" with her new little boyfriends. Sigh.

I wonder if we get to fingerpaint tomorrow....


UPDATE: Oh. My. God: I forgot the funniest part of the story: one of Little Nugget's boyfriends asked me if I was her SISTER!!!!! LOL, His Mommy taught him well!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Walmart, You Cause Me Great Vexation!

I admit, I begrudgingly patronize my local Super Walmart and am rewarded with modest savings on Team Nugget's sundry needs. But more importantly, I go there because I enjoy the fact that Satan's House of Cheap Milk and Prescriptions has self-checkout.

The reasons are three-fold:

Being the ocd-type organizer girl that I am, I REALLY enjoy having all my refrigerated items packed into one bag. Not an unreasonable request I think, it just makes it so easy to unload once I get home.

There must be some serious overloaded grocery-bag accident litigation floating around Walmart HQ because those crazy bastards will only put a couple of items in each sack. I get that, but I don't want to deal with all that stuff to carry. I've got a toddler, people! Streamline, that's the name of the game. Even when I give them my reusable bags (when I remember to bring the things) they still will inevitably ask, "You want the milk in the bag?" No, I want to carry it with my teeth! YES I WANT IT IN THE BAG! I know it's heavy. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. Put it all in there! Don't act shocked that I don't want you to give me 15 to twenty bags to carry in the house while corralling the Little Nugget. I can consistently fit ALL my groceries into those 4 reusable bags, every week. That's why I like to bag it myself.

Chit-chat. I'm not the most social person. I'm an introvert. But I can make small talk. Without frightening people. I can't say the same thing for some of the cashiers I've encountered. This I hold to be a Universal Truth: regardless of the retail establishment, they inevitably put the most socially inept people in contact with the customers. Quick story, all true: checking out the other day (different store, not Wally), Little Nugget quickly turning into a pumpkin. I give her (bribe her with) some Smartees, and the cashier says OUT LOUD, mind you, "Oh I used to SNORT those when I was a kid..." (emphasis seriously mine.) I'm all like Oh really, that's nice, well have a nice day! All the while, I'm thinking WTF?! Why would you share that with a stranger, let alone one with a child. RIGHT. THERE. Mommy, what's snorting?...Granted, this was an extreme case, but I've had lovely chit-chat with many cashiers about how their brother just got out of prison, etc, etc...oh, and the ones who clearly don't like kids, but try to pretend? Stop it. You're not fooling anyone, and it just comes across as creepy.

Alas, dear reader(s), today I discovered that my local Walmart has removed all the self-checkouts.


And that's all I have to say about that.


Thursday, March 4, 2010

One of My Internal Organs is a Worthless MoFo...

I refuse to believe that my gall bladder would go all wacky on me THE SAME WEEK my husband has his removed (he's recovering nicely, BTW!). I'm really starting to think that his evil organ has possessed mine...kinda like Paranormal Activity, only more like Pear-Shaped Organ Inactivity. HA!!! I crack myself up!!!

Other Random Observations (I'm really too tired to write in a more coherent fashion, although it never stopped me before):

Little Nugget's torso is now a size 3T, but her arms and legs are a 4. Tall girl. Can't wait until short-sleeved, shorts and skirts weather. That should disguise it for a couple of months until the rest of her catches up.

She might be starting preschool soon, not sure what to think of that yet. Oh I know what I think, but feel a little guilty for being so excited...lining up all the artsy-fartsy crafty projects and such. Should be finding out soon if they have a place for her. Mommy will be learning how to make glass beads soon after.

....sorry distracted by Idol...

STRANGE dreams lately: my new boss and the new AA trying to kill me; Crazy Bitch AWOL neighbor stalking me and my Nugget on vacation; giant spiders taking over and various spider mayhem...OK, nightmares really. And late night foot cramps. Not sleeping well (explaining the black circles under my eyes...not just misplaced mascara...) Waaa!

...Danny Gokey!!!....

Couldn't stand the irony this morning of taking the Little Nugget with me and Gammy to a Weight Watchers meeting, her shoving a fistful of yogurt raisins in her mouth and gnawing on them chipmunk-style, puffed out cheeks and all. Made me giggle. She has her Daddy's metabolism. :-)

Speaking of diets, I really did nothing this week but eat cheese, at least that's how it seemed. Yep, lost weight. Go Milk!
Someone I work with is an alarmist. They need to take a Lexapro and leave me alone. It's not my problem they're that way. I make my deadlines.
No matter how hard I try, every time I contact IT at work, I look like an idiot. I should know better. And I do. Me: "Oh hey it's doing that thing I said it wouldn't do" IT Guy: "That's because I just remoted in, I'm doing that" Me: *hanging head in shame*
At least I'm smarter about computers than anyone else in my department (crap). Oh yeah, I'm testing out some $5,000 piece of software at work. I finally got the DELETE button to work today. *jaw clenched* 27 days left on the test, woo-hoo!
No wonder my gall bladder's pissed.

All for now,