Team Nugget had a hankering for sushi the other night, AND we had a coupon. Score! So blinded by our fog of naive forgetfulness, we loaded up for a family outing. Woo-hoo! Usually the amnesia is short-term, as we gain consciousness as soon as we walk in the door and see 1) it's a nice, quiet restaurant and 2) there are other customers who seem to enjoy the quiet nature of said establishment. Fuck! I will share with you now:
Team Nugget's Strategies for Peaceful & Harmonious Dining in Fine Restaurant Settings, a.k.a. "Damage Control"
- Order alcohol, tout de suite.
- Waste no time in ordering food, and pray to God it arrives quickly.
- Swiftly unpack the Squinkies and other well-chosen distractions from the Little Nugget's poodle purse.
- Even though you are going to a restaurant to procure food, ALWAYS BRING BACKUP FOOD. Food delivery is NEVER fast enough.
- Once food has arrived, eat! Enjoy and savor it, of course, but just know everything could fall apart at any minute!
- When they come to ask you how it tastes, ask for the check! You just never know when you may be shamed into an abrupt departure!
Bon appetit!!! That really is our survival guide, for reals.
OK, so we weren't shamed *this time*, but we did make a quick departure as Little Nugget REALLY liked the sound her sassy boots made on the hardwoods, and she wanted to make sure everyone knew. That and she felt compelled to do a special sushi house interpretive dance in the exact spot where the wait staff come in and out of the kitchen.
After we escaped to the privacy and non-judgemental embrace of the car, I realized I had forgot to finish my Sake. I was really tempted to burst back into the restaurant, grab the tiny shot glass and down that sucker.
I'm sure the other diners would approve.
All for now,