Wednesday, December 8, 2010

**Tap Tap Tap** Is This Thing On?



whew, that felt good!

All for now,

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I Can't Help but Rock the Mommy Blog

While I still am a shameless marketing whore and continue to convert the masses via my quest for jewelry domination (World Domination will be Sparkly), I find that I can't say fuck or anything over there lest I offend and present myself in an unprofessional manner. Well, I could offend here too, I guess, so sorry bout that if it bugs you.

But what I guess I'm trying to say is I MISSED YOU guys. I enjoy your company. BFFs? K!!!

We'll talk soon! I have to figure out what I can make for dinner using only leftovers and a box of wine! ;-)


Friday, October 22, 2010

Yea I Did It!!!!!

I've been wanting to create my very own jewelry empire for some time now, and I'm happy to say that I've finally taken steps to achieve said domination!

You may have noticed I added a wee Etsy gadget to the blog, and as a result of the opening of my Nuggets of Goodness shop, I have started another blog, which you can find here.

Long story short, and because I am a shameless marketing whore, I probably won't be posting a lot on this blog for a bit, cuz, well I'm going to be posting on the other blog. There, I said it. But I invite you to check it out, because I'm sure you'll find it equally as enthralling, AND it's more sparkly than this blog!

You just can't beat sparkly. I mean come on!!


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I'm the Queen of Denial, or, Why Do My Jeans Have Holes Worn on the Inner Thighs?

So I've noticed recently that there is something wrong with my bra. It feels...weird. Like the underwires on the sides keep rubbing on my arms. I had one blow out not too long ago (no doubt to the ample voluptuousness of my girls), my favorite black lace bra with straps like a crane. So the weird bra in question is the utilitarian beige one, you know, the laundry-day brassierre. It feels different because I hardly ever wear it, right?


F*ck!!! It's not the underwires, it's my gigantic squishy arms!! They have nowhere left to expand!!! They've hit the wall! Crap!!! How did I get this fat? You'd think I'd notice something like that, sheesh, what with all the times I've been in Weight Watchers...(disclaimer: LOVE WW, it really works... If. You. Follow. It. Duh.) Yes, I have been a WW member on three different occasions in the last six years. Sigh. I know what to do. But at this time in my life? I honestly can't tolerate that much structure. It's exhausting. Life is complicated enough, I don't have the energy to think 24/7 about journaling, if I've had all my healthy oils, water, veggies, fruit, milk, good carbs, activity points, blah blah. It's a good system, but doesn't work for me, not right now.

So, What to do, what to do. No more Weight Watchers for me, I've gone rogue. Something clearly needs to be done, but I can't go back. We'll see, I guess I have to take the parts of WW that worked for me, and adapt them to the craziness that is Team Nugget. Sigh.

But I won't give up cheese. You can't make me.

Is there a cheese and wine diet out there? I could get behind that.


All for now,

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Back By Popular Demand...

Well, OK, not popular demand, but my Aunt V got onto me at our family dinner the other day for being a blogging slacker. I agree wholeheartedly. (Get a Facebook account, Aunt V!!!) :-)

To be honest, I just haven't really had it in me. Oh I've got plenty to say, but just didn't know how to say it. Kind of hard to bring up in casual conversation, "I planted my herb garden the other day, and Oh hey, did you hear, Little Nugget's been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder." Wah?

So there you go. Yep, a little over a month ago. Mostly we've been dealing with the "A" word, but it's not really a big surprise. We've known something was up since last summer. She surpassed quirky on the behavior-meter and took it all the way to twitchy. They seemed a little odd at the time, but many of her behaviors could be explained away by shyness, being an only child, etc, and frankly I identified with many of the quirks so it didn't strike me as too unusual. And like I have a whole lot of reference for this type of thing, what do I know, I've only had one kid! Doesn't every one's kid like to snuggle with crayons?

We put her on a gluten-free diet, got her into therapy through our school district, and we've already noticed a significant change for the better since last fall (the dark days). She's more affectionate, and we can see her making strides in her social interactions. We're grateful for the early diagnosis and intervention. It's not going to be an easy road, but lucky for Little Nugget that she got the two stubbornest people on the face of this earth as her parents who will accept nothing but the best future for our Sweet Angelpie of Goodness! Go Team Nugget!

All for now,

Monday, March 29, 2010

What I Learned in Preschool Today...

Little Nugget is not ready to dislodge herself from my butt just yet.

For the last month or so, I have been eagerly awaiting the coveted yet elusive "Mommy Alone Time." I've heard about, read stories, but thought it was just a fairytale. Until last week, when we had a meeting with Monkey's preschool and they said she could start. Today. What? Seriously? OMG! Since that moment, although struck with guilt over the degree of excitement brought about by said news, my mind has been all a-whirl with what to do with my new found freedom, known as the Morning Session.

I have long sought to return to jewelry making and my dream of building a crafts empire, you know, just in case my evaluation doesn't go so well at work this week. I dropped her off, holding back the tears until I got back out to the parking lot, then timidly went about the business of "Mommy Time." An hour later, I got a phone call. From the school. OH. NO. My empire, dangerously behind schedule, will have to wait. Little Nugget had been crying for an hour!!!


Apparently I am the human equivalent of a giant squishy pacifier of comforty-goodness for my Sweet Babygirl. Sigh. I got her calmed down (don't know how, but we'll take it) and decided to stick around. Because there would be no staying for the Little Nugget if Mommy wasn't staying too. So we went outside and hung out on the playground for awhile, and she dug it. And the boys dug it too. Sheesh. She's 3, and already the boys notice her. One little boy even stuck his tongue out at her, giving Mommy the perfect opportunity to explain that really that's all she needs to know about boys, they're silly, have cooties (except her Daddy and Grandpas), and should be regarded with skepticism or avoided altogether. Her response to this was to get up and go play "kick the ball" with her new little boyfriends. Sigh.

I wonder if we get to fingerpaint tomorrow....


UPDATE: Oh. My. God: I forgot the funniest part of the story: one of Little Nugget's boyfriends asked me if I was her SISTER!!!!! LOL, His Mommy taught him well!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Walmart, You Cause Me Great Vexation!

I admit, I begrudgingly patronize my local Super Walmart and am rewarded with modest savings on Team Nugget's sundry needs. But more importantly, I go there because I enjoy the fact that Satan's House of Cheap Milk and Prescriptions has self-checkout.

The reasons are three-fold:

Being the ocd-type organizer girl that I am, I REALLY enjoy having all my refrigerated items packed into one bag. Not an unreasonable request I think, it just makes it so easy to unload once I get home.

There must be some serious overloaded grocery-bag accident litigation floating around Walmart HQ because those crazy bastards will only put a couple of items in each sack. I get that, but I don't want to deal with all that stuff to carry. I've got a toddler, people! Streamline, that's the name of the game. Even when I give them my reusable bags (when I remember to bring the things) they still will inevitably ask, "You want the milk in the bag?" No, I want to carry it with my teeth! YES I WANT IT IN THE BAG! I know it's heavy. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. Put it all in there! Don't act shocked that I don't want you to give me 15 to twenty bags to carry in the house while corralling the Little Nugget. I can consistently fit ALL my groceries into those 4 reusable bags, every week. That's why I like to bag it myself.

Chit-chat. I'm not the most social person. I'm an introvert. But I can make small talk. Without frightening people. I can't say the same thing for some of the cashiers I've encountered. This I hold to be a Universal Truth: regardless of the retail establishment, they inevitably put the most socially inept people in contact with the customers. Quick story, all true: checking out the other day (different store, not Wally), Little Nugget quickly turning into a pumpkin. I give her (bribe her with) some Smartees, and the cashier says OUT LOUD, mind you, "Oh I used to SNORT those when I was a kid..." (emphasis seriously mine.) I'm all like Oh really, that's nice, well have a nice day! All the while, I'm thinking WTF?! Why would you share that with a stranger, let alone one with a child. RIGHT. THERE. Mommy, what's snorting?...Granted, this was an extreme case, but I've had lovely chit-chat with many cashiers about how their brother just got out of prison, etc, etc...oh, and the ones who clearly don't like kids, but try to pretend? Stop it. You're not fooling anyone, and it just comes across as creepy.

Alas, dear reader(s), today I discovered that my local Walmart has removed all the self-checkouts.


And that's all I have to say about that.


Thursday, March 4, 2010

One of My Internal Organs is a Worthless MoFo...

I refuse to believe that my gall bladder would go all wacky on me THE SAME WEEK my husband has his removed (he's recovering nicely, BTW!). I'm really starting to think that his evil organ has possessed mine...kinda like Paranormal Activity, only more like Pear-Shaped Organ Inactivity. HA!!! I crack myself up!!!

Other Random Observations (I'm really too tired to write in a more coherent fashion, although it never stopped me before):

Little Nugget's torso is now a size 3T, but her arms and legs are a 4. Tall girl. Can't wait until short-sleeved, shorts and skirts weather. That should disguise it for a couple of months until the rest of her catches up.

She might be starting preschool soon, not sure what to think of that yet. Oh I know what I think, but feel a little guilty for being so excited...lining up all the artsy-fartsy crafty projects and such. Should be finding out soon if they have a place for her. Mommy will be learning how to make glass beads soon after.

....sorry distracted by Idol...

STRANGE dreams lately: my new boss and the new AA trying to kill me; Crazy Bitch AWOL neighbor stalking me and my Nugget on vacation; giant spiders taking over and various spider mayhem...OK, nightmares really. And late night foot cramps. Not sleeping well (explaining the black circles under my eyes...not just misplaced mascara...) Waaa!

...Danny Gokey!!!....

Couldn't stand the irony this morning of taking the Little Nugget with me and Gammy to a Weight Watchers meeting, her shoving a fistful of yogurt raisins in her mouth and gnawing on them chipmunk-style, puffed out cheeks and all. Made me giggle. She has her Daddy's metabolism. :-)

Speaking of diets, I really did nothing this week but eat cheese, at least that's how it seemed. Yep, lost weight. Go Milk!
Someone I work with is an alarmist. They need to take a Lexapro and leave me alone. It's not my problem they're that way. I make my deadlines.
No matter how hard I try, every time I contact IT at work, I look like an idiot. I should know better. And I do. Me: "Oh hey it's doing that thing I said it wouldn't do" IT Guy: "That's because I just remoted in, I'm doing that" Me: *hanging head in shame*
At least I'm smarter about computers than anyone else in my department (crap). Oh yeah, I'm testing out some $5,000 piece of software at work. I finally got the DELETE button to work today. *jaw clenched* 27 days left on the test, woo-hoo!
No wonder my gall bladder's pissed.

All for now,

Friday, February 26, 2010

You Know You're Just Dying to Find Out...

Bat-Assed Crazy Neighbor Update:

When we last met, Mr. Crazy was packin it all up, laundry appliances and all. It was quiet for the rest of the weekend, with the exception of a late night visit to pick up God-knows-what. Crazy Bitch was still AWOL, but we didn't think anything of it, since it was Valentine's weekend, and honestly if I suffered a breakup then, I'd probably not come home to face the empty house either.

So Monday morning, I'm sippin my coffee, and I hear noises next door. Being the concerned (nosy) neighbor that I am, I peeked through the window to see Mr. C's buddy (Mr. TOW-Mater) drive off with the new trash bins just delivered by the city a week earlier. So now I'm thinkin WTH? And then it dawned on me: Mr. Crazy did NOT leave Crazy Bitch as previously thought. Seriously, we think they skipped town! OK, I didn't see this one coming.

Again, being the concerned (REALLY nosy) neighbor that I am, I of course contacted our real estate agent, thinking she might have some insight. And just like a good piece of gossip, she was on it like stink on shit. (I don't know if she's a gossip hound, I just thought it sounded good when I wrote it...sorry.) No it's not in foreclosure YET, but they might have thought if they left town before it happened, nobody could find them! HA!

She suggested we call the city, and we plan to, but honestly I don't want to jinx it. So we've given it a couple of weeks. There has been snow on the ground most of the time and no sign of activity. *crossing fingers*

I think this calls for a happy dance!!!! *shakin it*

Oh Hell Yes!!!!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

I'm Trying Really Hard Not to Pee Myself from the Excitement

OK, I'll admit it. Every since our bat-assed crazy next-door neighbors moved in last year, we've been hoping something would happen and they'd 1) be forced to leave, most likely in handcuffs; 2) have a melodramatic falling out (no extra charge for the floor show!) and one of them would leave (likely him, cuz she's a giant be-yatch to be sure, who could blame him?), thereby causing the other to move and find another smaller place to live (far, far away from us). This scenario could also include option number one, as that's how they seem to roll.

Imagine our surprise when a trailer pulled up this morning and Mr. Crazy and his buddies started loading stuff up. Now I don't want to jump to conclusions, but either he is finally leaving Crazy Bitch, or they are doing some SERIOUS spring cleaning. It's a toss up, but you usually don't get rid of your washer and dryer unless there is something to replace it. And your furniture. And lawn stuff. And you usually don't scrub the trailer floor clean before loading such items, to ensure a squeaky clean ride.

Folks, I believe stage one of scenario 2 is now in effect! Oh. Hell. Yes.

Now don't get me wrong: I don't wish badness on these people. I just want them to take their FUCKEDY-FUCK-FUCK screamfests in the front yard and LEAVE. Seriously. I shit you not. Drunkenly screaming FUCK at him in the front yard. Dude, not cool. There are kids in the neighborhood, and adults with uh, DECORUM. Although I have to say it was a fine lesson for the Little Nugget: "See Babygirl, that's what happens when you have no self-respect."

So who knows how this will unfold. They could reconcile (he'd be an even bigger idiot than we suspected), or she will stay forever, become a drunken verbally abusive harpie (oops, too late!), and continue to loudly curse from her deck (which happens to be next to the Babygirl's swing set, joy-joy)!

Let's hope this turns out well. New neighbors. Nice ones this time. Please?

All for now,

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Really There are NO Excuses, but Try This One On For Size...

I SO had good intentions to rock hard on the remodelling project(s) underway and for about 2 hours I really opened up a serious can of whoop ass.

Yes, we sat around for some time this morning leisurely drinking our coffee and watching the renno-fest marathon that is HGTV on Saturday morning: Holmes on Homes, eh, and some other ones. I don't quite remember, it's all a blur of fencing, tiling, dry walling...And you'd think that would put a fire in our belly, but people, we were tired and clearly in need of much greater motivation than mere TV personalities were going to provide. At least for me. Hubby Nugget had far greater initiative at that point, but I needed additional prodding because I was tackling the dreaded problem: the butt-ugly, unevenly applied popcorn ceiling that the obviously EVIL previous owners put up. There really should be a law against that, if not some code violation.

Having already accepted (due to my habitual viewing of HGTV) that I will have to slip coat every square inch of wall in the house (the alternative being new drywall), I had yet to reach acceptance about what needed to be done with the ceiling. I envisioned water, drop cloths, breathing aparatii, and hours and hours of horrible aching tedious dirty work.

And all that was true, except the hours and hours part. The ceiling had been painted, so no need for water. I just knocked off the popcorn part, and was done in less than two hours. Which is awesome, except I had really just expected to work on that today, and wasn't really in the mood to start slip coating. (I have to psych myself up for something I've never done before. Well, I've done slip coat, but that was on plaster, no biggie. This is 50-year old sheet rock. Nuff said.)

Plus when I got done, then allowing clean-up time, it was about 4 o'clock, which really is too late in the day to start something new. Ehem. Now don't get me wrong, I've been busy: I cannot tell you how many messes and toy box explosions I've cleaned today. Plus laundry sorting...oh yes, and Monkey wrangling. That's job number one.

Oh who am I kidding...I feel like an unbelievable lazy turd right now, obsessively checking Facebook and the Blog-o-sphere for new updates. Busted! But I did do all that stuff today. I just feel bad that I should have done more. Oh well, some days you just need a day off...oh wait...TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY!!! Well if that's not an excuse to be a slacker for 2 or 3 hours, I don't know what is!!!

Check out the computer game that's been occupying much of my lazy turd time: Pure Hidden. If you're into seek-and-find games and like really pretty, relaxing graphics, check it out! (note to self: must remember it's OK to take some relaxation time!!!!)

All for now,

Friday, January 29, 2010

I Know You Are, but What am I?!

There are few things about the 80's that are worthwhile mentioning. Yes, it was a dark time of mullets and Three's Company to be sure, but a few bright stars shined like a beacon of hope in the bleak days of my teenage years.

Let us start with the unbelievable Hello Kitty store at our local mall--I KNOW! A whole store devoted to Hello Kitty and Pals. You could see the sparkly pink goodies glow in the distance, beckoning you to peruse their unbelievably adorable goods, and maybe to perhaps part with a small portion of your allowance...I still have my Hello Kitty scissors don'tcha know. And yes, I know Hello Kitty dated pre-80's. But it hit the Midwest in the early 80's, so there.

Luckily, HK lives on, and Thank You God, my daughter is a fan. Which means I can buy HK gear until my heart's content, and this pleases me. No, I'm not all "oh I love Hello Kitty so much I'm going to turn my house into a pink dollhouse of Kitty-lovin shame,"

nor will we be totin' this regal firearm...

but we have a number of sticker books and a stuffed doll or two. And some hair accessories. And socks. I feel pretty good about that, and it satisfies my unresolved childhood desire for absolute cute. See this blog for the antidote. It's hilarious!

Item number two of the few good things that emerged from the 80's: Pee Wee Herman and Pee Wee's Playhouse. God I loved Pee-Wee. Yes, Paul Rubens the person ran into a bit of trouble (what with the movie watching habits and all), and as a result the Playhouse was cancelled. I understood, but it was sad.

But guess what? He's back! There have been 2, count them, TWO Pee Wee sightings in the last week:

Sighting 1) Conan O'Brien's show (sorry you have to endure an ad first)

Sighting 2) Doing an iPad review (hilarious!)

Nothing pleases me more than to see Pee Wee Herman again. Hell, you can even become a fan on Facebook, or follow him on Twitter.


All for now,

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Dumb and Dumber...

I believe you've been introduced to our neighbors. Such a joy, it's like having our very own reality tv show right next door!!! Yea!!!

So the other night we noticed they had moved their pickup down to the back of their very long driveway. This would be of no interest usually, but on THAT day, we had received another fair amount of drifting, blizzardy-type snow. We sensed a new opportunity to mock them mercilessly, which we really don't need one, but it helps to justify our ridicule.

While getting ready for bed, Hubby Nugget and I bet whether the Crazy Twins would in fact be able to back that beast up the hill the following morning. To sweeten the deal, we speculated where the likely falling-off-the-driveway-into-our-yard spot would be. HN really didn't want to think about that as we have at one point a 3-5 ft drop-off between the two properties divided by our fence.

Prophecy fulfilled! Did I mention it was also like 6 degrees that day? So Mr. Crazy Neighbor gets out there and starts digging snow from the back tires (although it might have been easier to just shovel the driveway PRIOR to this endeavor, but I digress....), and Ms. Crazy Neighbor is standing out in the middle of the street barking orders at him. I'm sure he appreciated all her helpfulness, I know I would. So the scene continues like this: dig out tires, burn rubber, slide deeper into our yard, dig, burn rubber, slide deeper into our yard.

At this point I guess he thought he had better tell me what had happened (cause it's not obvious at all! duh!). He's really not much of a talker, really, just kind of mumbled some stuff about getting his friend to pull him out. I was sympathetic, told him don't worry about the plants there, just some irises and you can't kill them, and he missed the rock wall. Apparently this had slipped his mind because he had the "oh shit" look on his face. And I only mentioned this because it's my beloved ROCK WALL GARDEN. As sad as I am that it's all planted, I really don't want to rebuild that wall.

So here comes his buddy to tow him out of the two ft. snowdrift in our yard with a mini-sized pickup! The thing couldn't even get enough traction on the road to move the chain, and when he finally melted a hole in the snow with the burning rubber of his tires, the chain went YANK and jerked the stuck truck VIOLENTLY. In the meantime, Mr. Crazy Neighbor has his foot to the floor burning holes in our yard. By the time they came to their senses, the truck was in a far worse position than before, now perpendicular to the driveway with the cab precariously resting near my rock wall. Nose deep in snow drift. AWEsome! Good job guys!

Now this is where Mr. Crazy Neighbor has a "lightbulb" moment. He really thought this was a good idea, and that frightens me: "We're really stuck, can I just drive out across your front yard?" Seriously. I shit you not. So this is how it went down:

Me: Um, I don't really feel comfortable with that...

Mr. CN: I will shovel your yard first...(yes, he really said that...I KNOW! He wouldn't shovel his driveway, but now he's gonna shovel my whole front yard?! )

Me (barely able to contain myself): Uh no, we already have water problems in the basement...

Mr. CN: I won't cause any damage...(Oh yeah, how 'bout when you get stuck in our front yard!!)

Me (head exploding from overexposure to stupidity): Um, there are water lines under there...

Mr. CN: I'll just drive out...(oh yeah right)

Me: Um sorry no. But you're in a perfect spot for a tow truck to pull you out...

Mr. CN: (mutters to himself, stomps off sullenly...)

This exchange makes Team Nugget wonder...would he have just driven across the yard if I hadn't been home? Yes, he is just that big of an idiot. Moving to the country is very appealing...

All for now,

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Early Bird Gets the Worm, But Might Get Killed in a Late Season Frost...

The planting catalogues are here! Yea!!! Time to think about gardening again!!! I say that as another blizzard approaches...

I never thought I would be one of those people who 1) looks forward with great anticipation to the upcoming spring plantings in October; and 2) peruses seed and bulb catalogues with deep and meaningful purpose. Oh yeah, and I want a goat. Nobody saw that one coming.

Honestly, who could resist that cute face? I will have my pygmy goat one day, oh yes I will. But for now, I have The Bug.

So yes, I am very excited about Spring and have been thinking about upcoming projects. First off, the rock wall garden is complete. The only thing left to do is let it do it's thing. Oh sure, I am going to take the iris, ornamental grass* and some of the sedum out**, maybe move some stuff and add some goodies in the corner near the tree, but other than that (!), really all that needs to be done is to let the ground cover by the road cover the ground.

*OK, so here's the story with that. The iris was planted willy-nilly at the end of '08 because I received it as a late season gift and needed to get it in the ground. Now I have a better place for it, so it gets moved this year. And the ornamental grass, well I put it in the place it now resides simply to prevent erosion. Now that the ground cover has kicked in, the grass can move elsewhere as it looks a bit out of place.

**And the sedum. Sigh. My poor sedum. Oh it's OK, but it really could use some more sun. Some are doing well, like the angelique and blue spruce. But the others, the stonecrops, are just too leggy for my liking. Even though I love sedum, leggy sedum is just plain ugly. So leggy sedum in the front yard are heading to the back where they can bask in the sunlight, at least somewhere in the NE corner.

That leaves a little patch of ground by the front door in need of tendin' to! Wahoo! Another garden spot! Not sure what yet, probably has to be something that doesn't need much light. Maybe rocks. And another tiny tiny gnome.

In the backyard (yes I know we agreed that's Hubby Nugget's domain, but I ran out of places to plant, and I wore him down), I will continue the plantings around the Juniper, another azalea bush to be sure. And vinca. It seemed pretty happy there last year. Of course the beloved Garden of Sedummy Goodness. This will include rocks, and definitely lavender (mmmm). Oh yes, I'm excited. Again, not sure where it's going to go, but I need to be able to see it from inside the house.

On the west side, I'm going to plant the orphan Norton grape from the vineyard. This is mostly so I can practice pruning it. Probably would be a good idea to learn how to prune if one is going to be a grower of grapes and maker of fine wines.

And finally, as if there aren't enough projects already, I will embellish the newly finished rock wall that surrounds the fire pit/patio area with plants from Larry's House of Cheap Sedum (a local nursery that I was told about and am salivating at the thought of visiting this spring...big surprise there).

Come on spring!

All for now,