Saturday, January 16, 2010

Dumb and Dumber...

I believe you've been introduced to our neighbors. Such a joy, it's like having our very own reality tv show right next door!!! Yea!!!

So the other night we noticed they had moved their pickup down to the back of their very long driveway. This would be of no interest usually, but on THAT day, we had received another fair amount of drifting, blizzardy-type snow. We sensed a new opportunity to mock them mercilessly, which we really don't need one, but it helps to justify our ridicule.

While getting ready for bed, Hubby Nugget and I bet whether the Crazy Twins would in fact be able to back that beast up the hill the following morning. To sweeten the deal, we speculated where the likely falling-off-the-driveway-into-our-yard spot would be. HN really didn't want to think about that as we have at one point a 3-5 ft drop-off between the two properties divided by our fence.

Prophecy fulfilled! Did I mention it was also like 6 degrees that day? So Mr. Crazy Neighbor gets out there and starts digging snow from the back tires (although it might have been easier to just shovel the driveway PRIOR to this endeavor, but I digress....), and Ms. Crazy Neighbor is standing out in the middle of the street barking orders at him. I'm sure he appreciated all her helpfulness, I know I would. So the scene continues like this: dig out tires, burn rubber, slide deeper into our yard, dig, burn rubber, slide deeper into our yard.

At this point I guess he thought he had better tell me what had happened (cause it's not obvious at all! duh!). He's really not much of a talker, really, just kind of mumbled some stuff about getting his friend to pull him out. I was sympathetic, told him don't worry about the plants there, just some irises and you can't kill them, and he missed the rock wall. Apparently this had slipped his mind because he had the "oh shit" look on his face. And I only mentioned this because it's my beloved ROCK WALL GARDEN. As sad as I am that it's all planted, I really don't want to rebuild that wall.

So here comes his buddy to tow him out of the two ft. snowdrift in our yard with a mini-sized pickup! The thing couldn't even get enough traction on the road to move the chain, and when he finally melted a hole in the snow with the burning rubber of his tires, the chain went YANK and jerked the stuck truck VIOLENTLY. In the meantime, Mr. Crazy Neighbor has his foot to the floor burning holes in our yard. By the time they came to their senses, the truck was in a far worse position than before, now perpendicular to the driveway with the cab precariously resting near my rock wall. Nose deep in snow drift. AWEsome! Good job guys!

Now this is where Mr. Crazy Neighbor has a "lightbulb" moment. He really thought this was a good idea, and that frightens me: "We're really stuck, can I just drive out across your front yard?" Seriously. I shit you not. So this is how it went down:

Me: Um, I don't really feel comfortable with that...

Mr. CN: I will shovel your yard first...(yes, he really said that...I KNOW! He wouldn't shovel his driveway, but now he's gonna shovel my whole front yard?! )

Me (barely able to contain myself): Uh no, we already have water problems in the basement...

Mr. CN: I won't cause any damage...(Oh yeah, how 'bout when you get stuck in our front yard!!)

Me (head exploding from overexposure to stupidity): Um, there are water lines under there...

Mr. CN: I'll just drive out...(oh yeah right)

Me: Um sorry no. But you're in a perfect spot for a tow truck to pull you out...

Mr. CN: (mutters to himself, stomps off sullenly...)

This exchange makes Team Nugget wonder...would he have just driven across the yard if I hadn't been home? Yes, he is just that big of an idiot. Moving to the country is very appealing...

All for now,

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