Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Canine Mascot Profile: Stinkbug (a.k.a. "The Bug")

Let me now take some time away from my busy day of scanning to share with you the wonder that is The Bug. This is, of course, not his real name, as that is being withheld to protect his identity. Behold:

I think that picture best captures his true essence. He answers to many names...Butt Sniffer, Butt Nugget, der Wiener Licker, Humper, Little Bastard, The Bug, and of course, Beelzebug. I think you're gettin the point here. He's not called Stinkbug for nothing. Of all the Team Nugget mascots (including the aquarium goo), he's the most likely candidate to be prescribed puppy prozac (OH how I wish our vet would let us medicate). People, he's not right in the head.

I met Stinkbug early in 2005, when the courtship of Team Nugget was in full swing. Now I'm a dog person, and the four-legged furballs usually catch on to this right away. Not the Bug. He growled at me and bit at my ankles! It took him awhile to get used to hugs and kisses, I'll tell ya! I'm proud to say that after three years of hard work and mutual love and understanding, he only bites me occassionally.

I tend to make up theme songs for some unknown reason, so just humor me on this: it is an ode to the bug (just the lyrics): "Butt Nugget, you're the one / You're the one who gets things done / Barking at the mailman and knocking over trash / Eating moldy couscous and licking Jackson's ass..."

He seems to like it, he comes over for lovin when I sing it :-)

What with the neediness, jealousy, biting, OCD licking and generally unpleasant behavioral problems, it would be an understatement to say that Team Nugget was a little worried how the Bug would react to a new Little Nugget. Afterall, he was, we suspect, abandoned by his previous owners when they had a new addition to their family. He was very skittish when he saw all of the baby gear and required lots of assurance. To our astonishment, he loves, loves LOVES the baby girl!!! Who knew he was a little softy in an asshole suit.

We love the little bastard.

All for now,


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