Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Those Little Saké Cups are for Taking Shots, Right?

Team Nugget can really be dense sometimes. Like when we think we can go out to a nice dinner (something other than fast food or Mexican) with the Little Nugget. I mean, how many times do we need to be reminded? Apparently many. Because we have a keen ability to block unpleasant experiences from our collective memory. Call it our superpower, if you will. Otherwise, why would we keep trying to take our oh-so adorable, albeit fidgety offspring to public places confined by the typical social expectations. You know, like not screaming "NOOOO!!!!" seemingly out of the blue: we're used to it so we no longer have the startle reflex, but most other diners are unaccustomed to spontaneous bursts of adrenaline during their meal. Makes you feel alive, eh?! Our gift to you! You're welcome! :-)

Team Nugget had a hankering for sushi the other night, AND we had a coupon. Score! So blinded by our fog of naive forgetfulness, we loaded up for a family outing. Woo-hoo! Usually the amnesia is short-term, as we gain consciousness as soon as we walk in the door and see 1) it's a nice, quiet restaurant and 2) there are other customers who seem to enjoy the quiet nature of said establishment. Fuck! I will share with you now:

Team Nugget's Strategies for Peaceful & Harmonious Dining in Fine Restaurant Settings, a.k.a. "Damage Control"

  1. Order alcohol, tout de suite.
  2. Waste no time in ordering food, and pray to God it arrives quickly.
  3. Swiftly unpack the Squinkies and other well-chosen distractions from the Little Nugget's poodle purse.
  4. Even though you are going to a restaurant to procure food, ALWAYS BRING BACKUP FOOD. Food delivery is NEVER fast enough.
  5. Once food has arrived, eat! Enjoy and savor it, of course, but just know everything could fall apart at any minute!
  6. When they come to ask you how it tastes, ask for the check! You just never know when you may be shamed into an abrupt departure!

Bon appetit!!! That really is our survival guide, for reals.

OK, so we weren't shamed *this time*, but we did make a quick departure as Little Nugget REALLY liked the sound her sassy boots made on the hardwoods, and she wanted to make sure everyone knew. That and she felt compelled to do a special sushi house interpretive dance in the exact spot where the wait staff come in and out of the kitchen.

After we escaped to the privacy and non-judgemental embrace of the car, I realized I had forgot to finish my Sake. I was really tempted to burst back into the restaurant, grab the tiny shot glass and down that sucker.

I'm sure the other diners would approve.

All for now,



Kristie Gilliland said...

I think that what you guys are doing is awesome. Parents accommodate their children like this all the time. Until my kids were older, Jeff and I had pretty much the same routine in a restaurant..Get in and out! We have had fits in stores..whining and screaming..etc. My friend Lisa and I were in Target the other day when this lady with 2 small children was trying to "shop". The little boy ripped the make-up shelf off the wall and everything went flying. We tried helping the lady put it all back together(because we have been there before) Meanwhile, this woman was dropping things out of her purse..and losing her mind, I think! Lisa and I looked at each other and exclaimed..Don't miss those days!

jorgi said...

I get such a kick out of your blogs! I love people who see the humor and fun of having a child with a brain that works a little differently.