Mission Impossible

Operation Grocery Shopping has just been aborted, and my sniffling toddler has just been put down for an EARLY nap.

Why, you ask? Because Mommy had the bright idea to go use her $10 gift card at Kohls this morning. I naively thought I would buy clothing for myself. It's been so long since I've done that with the Monkey that I forgot why I just pick up t-shirts at Walmart or Target instead.

The Little Nugget HATES clothes shopping: she HATES the clothing department and she HATES when Mommy tries on, oh how she hates when Mommy tries on.

She started in as soon as we got there: she's a smart girl and recognized right away this was not Satan's House of Free Sugar Cookies (walmart). Usually when faced with that situation, she starts chirping "ki-ki!!! ki-ki!!!" (cookie). No, this time it was "Go Bye-Bye!" "Go Bye-Bye!"

Not a good sign.

Not one to be bossed by my child, I came equipped with an arsenal of distractions, from elmo, books, doodlepro, electronics, snacks, all to make the experience a bit more pleasant for her and to give me a bit more time to shop.

So nothing was working out clothing-wise (I wanted to stay in the $10 range of course), so we headed to the kids department, and faced with the fact that we weren't leaving yet, someone lost her shit. Didn't care what we looked at, what toys I stuck in her face, what clothing I let her de-shelve (I was desperate at this point). She came unhinged. Somewhere on the dash to the cash register, she lost her pacifier, and this pissed her off to infinity. I wasn't about to go back and look for it.

So I wheel my howling child up to the cashier and there's a line. I almost thought I should abandon ship and get her out of dodge for the sanity of the other shoppers. But hey, I had to use the gift card, it was going to expire, and I don't get to Kohls very often. So we stood in line. Screaming and snotting. It was a sight, I'm sure. Once it was clear to everyone that I had no intention of leaving without purchasing Little Nugget's Elmo book and red leggings, an additional check-out lane was opened just for our convenience. How awesome is that?!

So the Monkey continued her protest out the door, in the car, down the street, in the house and FINALLY chilled out when I scooped her up to snuggle. She fell asleep in my arms and I put her down for a nap, 2 hours early, I might add.

So that's how our morning's been, good times! And we still have no milk.

Grr.